


Prancing Through Time

by Lytri



Series: Works I'm Winging At [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chapters might be short, Crack, Dark Harry, Evil(ish) Harry, Humour, I've no bloody clue what I'm doing, Immortal Harry, M/M, Master of Death Harry Potter, Necromancer Harry, Not Entirely Insane Voldemort, Obsessive Behavior, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Tom, Possessive Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Possessive Voldemort, Slightly Insane Harry, Suicide, Time Travel, Torture, Violence, but he never stays dead, i think I might just wing it, or some will at least, …I think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-07-25 18:49:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7543918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lytri/pseuds/Lytri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Potter, Master of Death, has lived for far longer than what is good for ones sanity.  But he is Death's master, and sadly, Death will never claim him (though it certainly doesnt stop them from trying once in a while).  So instead, you've got one extremely bored and frustrated immortal.  Which is never a good thing, considering he has way too much time on his hands and spends most of that time taking it out on various worlds.  And unfortunately for the Wizarding World, he's started to feel nostalgic.  </p><p>In his nostalgia, Harry's bright idea was to go back in time to the beginning of when he was going to Hogwarts.  It's such a shame Harry's mischievous nature just doesn't seem to mesh with the Wizarding World.  Or with wizards and witches, for that matter.  And it's true that he completely screws over the timeline, but that certainly doesn't explain how he ended up hooking up with the Dark Lord of all people.  And the Dark Lord certainly doesn't know how he ended up in bed with an insane brat either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still new to writing, so I'm sorry if you don't like this. Though this is also not a too seriously done fic, as I just need something to write without worrying about writing it well. 
> 
> Okay! First chapter revised! Only six more to go…(sigh)

# Chapter 1

 

Planet 677,  
NGC 4826 (Black/Evil Eye Galaxy)

“Run away!” Harry yelled with a maniacal laugh as he grabbed Xero’s arm in a vice grip. Tugging Xero with him, they sprinted down the mountain like the hounds of hell themselves were after them. And that actually wasn't too far off. They were running from their—or more accurately Xero’s—impending doom and one way ticket to the afterlife. Harry, on the other hand, well, he was having the time of his life.

“How the fuck did you talk me into this?” Xero shouted wildly. “It was your stupid idea to climb Mount Ghasin!”

“Well,” Harry started, floundering for a good excuse. “How was I s'posed to know the bloody mountain was an active volcano!” Harry just ended up yelling. Looking behind him, he could see a large stream of molten lava trailing behind them which was gaining in speed. Running even faster, Harry missed the protruding rock on the ground. Running at breakneck speeds, Harry's foot got caught on the stone and they started to roll down the hill.

“Fuck fuck fuck!” Xero cursed. “You'll be the death of me!” he exclaimed to Harry before correcting that. “No, you _are_ the death of me!” Tumbling further down the mountain, they rolled off the ledge into a freefall.

“You have wings!” Harry exclaimed. “Why don't you, I don't know, _use_ them?”

“They're not for flying you idiot!”

“Who has wings that are only for decoration? That doesn't make any sense.” Harry muttered before trying to sooth him. “Look on the bright side. You won't have to marry that vile, troll of a lady if you're dead.” Reaching out his arm despite the air resistance, Harry patted Xero's back.

“That doesn't help anything!” he shouted. “I would rather marry that troll bitch than this! They'll be scraping our remains from the ground for years!”

“I wouldn't say years,” Harry replied. “And it will be _your_ remains they will be scraping off, not mine.”

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” Were Xero's last words before they plunged into the ground. Bones shattered and blood splattered everywhere. One might actually call it a decent splatter paint picture if not for the excessive human organs littering it and mucking up the artwork. But something decidedly _strange_ started to happen. Some blood started to _fade_ out of existence along with some bones and organs. And all that was left was Xero's body, just like Harry had said would happen.

*

“Master,” Death said. “Did you really have to cause his death?” Death’s tone held a hint of exasperation in it.

“I didn't mean for it to happen,” Harry said. “I thought his species could fly when I brought him high into Mount Ghasin. They had wings! Bloody wings! That should mean they could actually _fly_!” Harry ranted to Death, incredulity written all over his face.

“Do you not pay attention to other animals?” Death asked. “The wings were for _mating_ purposes. They were for _impressing_ a suitable _mate_.”

“That's a bloody waste! There are plenty of other animals that have wings for the same purpose but can fly.”

Death gave out a sigh. “That man was vital for the progression of that world,” Death told Harry. “He was the one that was going to ensure the planet wouldn't be forever stuck in a Stone Age.”

“That doesn't mean anything to you and you and I know that,” Harry said with a deadpan look. “And you know it doesn't mean anything to _me_ either.”

“Yes, but _Fate_ is going to complain so much.” Death said morosely.

“Oh suck it up, Death,” Harry told Death. “That excuse stopped working centuries ago.”

“…It was worth a try.” Death said after a pause.

“I suppose so.” Harry said before silence descended upon the two. Twiddling his thumbs and looking around, Harry quickly became restless.

“So soon already, master?” Death asked with a weary sigh. “Can you not stay in my realm for more than an hour?”

“You know how bored I get.” Harry said while giving a pointed look at Death.

“Of course, master,” Death said. “How could I forget? The last time you stayed too long you terrorised all of us by threatening to order me to wear a pink maid uniform. And once you finally left me in peace by going on to another world, you made that world believe that I was somehow a little girl who lost her teddy bear, and that one could escape death by worshipping teddy bear shrines. Madness suits you, master, but it doesn't suit other people despite your affinity for making other people insane.”

“It's your own fault for making me stay in this dreadful place,”Harry sniffed while pointedly looking around the gloomy castle. “And I want to go back to my original world.” Harry said with a wicked grin, completely changing the subject.

“Do you really want to do that, master?” Death asked while trying to keep his voice neutral unsuccessfully.

“Of course I do, Death,” Harry replied in an amused tone. “Why? Are you worried?”

“No, master,” Death replied while trying to keep his voice monotonous again.

With a huff, Harry gave Death a _look_. “Well, then why did you ask me?”

“To make sure you actually want to do this,” Death said simply.  
  
“You're bloody insufferable, Death.” Harry said exasperatedly.

“Why of course, master,” Death said. “But could you at least leave _this_ world intact?” There was the smallest of inflections in Death’s voice; almost imperceptible. But after hanging around Death for so long, Harry found no trouble in catching what it was. _Nervousness_. Death was nervous. And with good reason too.

With a Cheshire Cat grin, Harry gave a positively wicked chortle. “Aww, so you are worried.”

“No,” Death repeated. “I just simply do not want Fate coming after me again like last time when you decided to prance around the Wizarding World and traumatise them all.”

“Prance!?” Harry indignantly asked, choosing to ignore the other half of what Death said. “I do not prance. And careful, Death. Or people might get under the impression that you're completely _whipped_ with how much you refer to Fate and matters they won't like.”

“I am not _whipped_.” Death said sternly. “I just don't want them annoying me all the time. And would you prefer the word frolic, master?” Death asked. “Perhaps caper would apply? You certainly did one of those while on your little excursions to the Wizarding World.”

“I…uh,” Harry started, trying to think of a reply. “I was just so _bored_. I had an excuse! And it's not my fault those bloody, bumbling duffers couldn't just leave me the bloody hell alone! I mean _really_ , can they not comprehend the concept of peace and quiet? You'd think…” Harry continued on and on in his irritation, barely even pausing for breath.

“Are you finished, master?” Death asked once Harry paused in his rant.

Harry cleared his throat and sheepishly looked at Death.

“Are you ready now, master?”

“Um, yes. Right.”

Death continued with his questions when it it seemed like Harry forgot what they were talking about before his rant. “What time would you like to go back to?”

Harry wore a contemplative face, his teeth biting his bottom lip. “Hmm. I refuse to subject myself to the Dursleys for years again, so going back before Hogwarts is definitely out. I also know I want to go back to a time when I was still in Hogwarts.”

“Your decision, master.” Death said, trying to prompt a quicker response from Harry.

“Yes. I think I'll go to the beginning. When I just got my Hogwarts letter.”

“Goodbye, master. Try not to destroy this world too quickly.”

“No promises.” And with one last wicked grin, Harry disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one I kept pretty much the same because I was pretty content with this one.

# Chapter 2

 

Harry opens his eyes to darkness and old and worn fabric that was scratchy against his skin. He was in his old cupboard at the Dursleys. Figures. Reaching out blindly, he tried to find the door to the cupboard. Fixing his eyesight would be one of the first things on his list. Or better yet, he should just do it now. With an unnecessary wave of his hand, he willed his magic to correct his damaged eyesight.

“That’s much better.” Harry said to himself. Now with his better eyesight, he could make out the dark outline of the door, and finally spotted the doorknob. Reaching out, he tried to open the door.

“Bloody Dursleys.” Harry muttered under his breath when he found the door to be locked. Quickly, he cast a wandless and wordless _Alohomora_. With a click, the door was unlocked, and Harry exited out of the cupboard.

It was still dark outside, the house nearly silent if not for the loud snoring he could hear from upstairs. He silently cast a _Tempus_ with his hand, seeing how long it would take for his Hogwarts letter to arrive. _5:45_. Nearly two hours until the first letter arrived. He was certainly going to have so much fun when that happened. He could just stuff his letter in his pants and the Dursleys wouldn't be wiser, but then he wouldn't be able to have any fun.

Creeping back into the cupboard, he re locked it and waited until he was supposed to be let out. After so many millennia, Harry tended to get in the habit of losing time. He would space out, and then the next thing he knows, it's been years or so that he spent just staring off into space. It wasn't the best of habits to pick up, as he learned from various worlds that involved fighting. So as he sat in his cupboard, his habit came pack to play, and it was only the banging of his Uncle Vernon's fist that woke him up.

“Boy!” He yelled. “Make breakfast!” The lock of the door clicked, and Uncle Vernon walked back upstairs.

 _That didn't happen last time,_ Harry thought. Or at least he thinks that didn't happen last time. He's been to so many dissensions and variations of the Wizarding World that he's not entirely sure.

For appearances sake, Harry put on his glasses, the actual lenses having been switched with fake lenses. Exiting his cupboard, Harry walked into the kitchen and started to make breakfast. While he was cooking breakfast, he sneakily enchanted the food to gradually induce hair loss. He hoped little Dudleykins enjoyed his hair while he had it. _Oh dear, it seems the twins have rubbed off on me,_ he thought worriedly. But that worry didn't last long, and he just went on to thinking of how his Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon would react.

Once he finished breakfast, he set the table and waited for the Dursleys to come downstairs. It was half an hour later that they finally arrived downstairs. Harry was just glad he could put heating charms on the food. Otherwise he would have to deal with an angry Uncle Vernon and screaming petunia. Not to mention Dudley and his pathetic whining and uncreative insults.

It was when the sound of mail being inverted through the door slot that Harry became excited, barely suppressing a maniacal grin.

“Go get the mail, boy.” Uncle Vernon said while stuffing his face of bacon.

“Make Dudley get it.” Harry said in the spirit of what happened last time.

“Get the mail, boy,” Uncle Vernon said again. “And after that you can spend the rest of your day in your cupboard with no food.”

 _Hope you like to have no hair,_ Harry thought while going to retrieve the mail. Looking down at the door mat, he picked up the three things of mail. Looking at the letter addressed to him, he couldn't help but wear a nostalgic smile.

_Mr. H. Potter_

_The Cupboard under the Stairs_

_4 Privet Drive_

_Little Whinging_

_Surrey_

“Hurry up, boy!” Uncle Vernon shouted. “Or do you want to spend another day in your cupboard!?”

Walking back into the kitchen, Harry handed Uncle Vernon a bill and a postcard, and continued walking. He just started to open the letter when Dudley snitched on him again like he did so long ago.

Furious, Uncle Vernon snatched the letter from his hands, an impressive sneer on his face. But that didn't last long, and when he looked down at the letter, he soon became pale, Aunt Petunia following soon after when she saw the letter. They were panicked and shouting and worrying, all the while Dudley was the only one truly confused. Quickly, Uncle Vernon kicked them out of the kitchen to discuss the letter with Aunt Petunia.

Dudley stayed to eavesdrop on the two bickering, while Harry just returned to his cupboard, already knowing what they were saying. _Only a few more hours until I'm moved to Dudley's second bedroom,_ he thought. And sure enough, when Uncle Vernon got back from work, Harry was moved to Dudley’s second bedroom.

The next days were one of the most hilarious days of his life. The letters just kept coming, and he was pretty sure Uncle Vernon was going to die of high blood pressure with the way he was going. Harry especially enjoyed stepping on Uncle Vernon's face again when he was camping out by the door slot. He made sure to grind his heel into Uncle Vernon's face extra hard. He got locked in the cupboard for the rest of the day and was hit around quite a bit, but he was no stranger to pain and it was most definitely worth it.

It was finally that faithful day when Uncle Vernon had enough and took them on an impromptu road trip to the run down hotel. And then they were brought to the godawful little shack by the sea. It was pouring rain and positively gloomy when Hagrid came storming in. Harry had secretly hoped that Uncle Vernon would have a heart attack from fright when Hagrid smashed the door open.

“Finally!” Harry couldn't help but shout.

Uncle Vernon, who had been trying, and failing, to intimidate the giant with a gun, turned back at him and stared.

“Uh, whoops,” Harry said, chastising himself for not showing restraint. “Well, too late now. Come now, Hagrid. Let's go to the Leaky Cauldron now and enter the Wizarding World.” Harry made sure to will his magic to make Hagrid agree with him. While he had his fun, he would rather leave before he ended up murdering the Dursleys. There time would come by his hand, but he was just simply not done playing with them yet.

“Of course Harry.” Hagrid said, while walking out the door. Harry just simply followed, but he made sure to give the Dursleys the two fingered salute before he left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is going surprisingly quick, but then again I'm keeping the chapters at least over 1k words and they are usually around 1k. Still short but not as dreadfully short as before. 
> 
> Though I think that three chapters is enough for today.

# Chapter 3

 

At arriving at the entrance of the Leaky Cauldron, Harry quickly spun on his heel and turned to the looming figure of Hagrid. “What is it, Harry?” Hagrid said in concern when he saw Harry's face staring up intently at him.

“I must apologise, Hagrid.” Harry said in a not very apologetic tone. Bringing his arm up, he pointed his hand towards Hagrid. Hagrid was both confused and worried, but he did not take it as a threatening gesture, as he was under the impression that Harry was a clueless eleven-year-old.

“Apologise? Apologise for what, Harry?” Hagrid asked while looking down at Harry, completely ignoring his hand in favour for studying his face in hopes of seeing what's wrong. “Is there somethi—” Hagrid started to continue before he was cut off by Harry.

“ _Obliviate_ ,” Harry intoned softly before putting his hand down. “You brought Harry Potter to the Wizarding World and helped him with all his supplies. You are now heading back home after bringing Harry back to his house at the Dursleys.” With a glassy eyes nod, Hagrid walked past Harry and entered the Leaky Cauldron, leaving Harry alone. Looking around and sensing for any magic signatures, Harry called out once he knew no one was there to see what he was about to do.

“Death.”

“Yes, master?” Death asked, their shadowy form appearing by Harry's side.

“I want you to implement fake memories into Hagrid that show him introducing me to the Wizarding World and everything else he did last time. Make it impossible for Dumbledore and anyone else to find out they're fake.” Harry said while looking at Death with large, pleading eyes.

“You could do that yourself, master.” Death told Harry, immune to such tactics from Harry. Just like with Death’s use of Fate to get Harry to do something, Harry's puppy dog eyes hadn't worked on Death for centuries.

“But I don't _want_ to.” Harry pouted. “So you'll just have to do it for me.” He added with a commanding tone, signifying to Death that the last sentence was an order, not a question

“Yes, master.” Death said with the barest hints of exasperation and then faded back into nothing, seemingly blending in with the shadows and leaving Harry alone once more.

Smiling in victory, Harry turned towards the door to the Leaky Cauldron and opened it. He was immediately greeted with odd looks from the few people that were hanging out at the bar. And who could really blame them? It looked as if a little kid had just entered without a parent or escort. But Harry paid them no mind and, with hesitant shuffles, approached Tom.

“Umm, ah, sah-sir.” Harry looked up at Tom and said fearfully with wide eyes.

“What are you doing out so late?” Tom asked while looking down at Harry in concern.

“Well, you see,” Harry looked down and wrung his hands, fully taking advantage of his smaller than average height. “My mommy and daddy wanted to show me the muggle world. And I was really really excited! I've never seen a muggle before today. They looked really weird! I mean, no one was wearing any robes and only the women wore things similar to robes. Oh! And there was these weird shiny boxes that were moving and glowing on the streets! I thought that the muggle world had no magical creatures?” Harry exclaimed animatedly, his wonderment shining through.

Chuckling in amusement at Harry's enthusiasm, he turned back to the matter at hand. “And your parents? Why are they not with you?”

“Oh, right! Umm, well, I may have, umm, gotten a little lost when I saw this fluffy pink stuff that a muggle was selling. My mommy and daddy were crossing the street and I saw the fluffy stuff and I went for it. Next thing I knew, I couldn't see them anymore.” At this point, tears were starting to form in Harry's eyes. “I was wandering for a really long time and there was this creepy man that called me sweetheart and I want so scared and then I saw the Leaky Cauldron and I ran inside.” Harry was in hysterics, with tears running down his face and hiccuping through sobs. “I just want to go home. Could you open the entrance for me?

“Of course, kid,” With soft eyes, Tom left his station and stood by Harry. “Follow me, now.” Tom toad Harry and then led him to the entrance. Taking out his wand, Tom used it to open the entrance for Harry.

Giving a great full look at Tom, Harry entered the Wizarding World and looked back up at him. “I can find them on my own, now.” He said and gave a happy smile towards Tom. In his own mind he was hoping that Tom would let him go. Harry really didn't feel like _obliviating_ or using _imperio_ every time someone didn't listen to him. It would get old real fast and he knew he would mess up at one point or another and make a big mess he had to deal with.

“Are you sure, kid?” Tom asked and looked down at Harry in worry. He would feel horrible if something happened to him if he left him on his own.

“Uh-huh” Harry said determinedly. “Don't worry, I don't need any help! I can just call our house elf to bring me home! ” Harry said convincingly and wore the look of a child that wanted to seem to be grown up and not needing an adult’s help.

“Okay, kid.” Tom said with one last concerned look at Harry. But he was satisfied with Harry's reassurance about using a house elf. “Be safe!” He called out while turning around and disappearing through the entrance.

When the entrance closed up, Harry's childlike facade slipped off his face and a smirk appeared on his face. “Too easy.” Looking around at the empty and dark streets, Harry gave a deep frown while mentally hitting himself.

 _Shite. Where am I going to sleep for the night?_ he thought. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small bit of editing.

# Chapter 4

 

Opening his eyes, Harry woke to a horribly sore back and stiff bones. I'm never doing this again, he thought in irritation. Standing up, he stretched, his toes curling in pleasure as his joints popped. With a satisfied sigh, Harry reached down and grabbed his invisibility cloak before shrinking it and stuffing it in his pocket. With one last look at his little spot he slept in, he left the alleyway.

Wandering around, he scanned the streets, watching the various people bustling around the streets. The sun was out, the time seeming to be around mid morning. Passing by shops and slipping between the many wizards and witches, Harry continued to look around before he turned and headed for Gringotts. Approaching Gringotts, he reached out and opened the door. Immediately, he was greeted with a sneer from the goblins and ignored by the other people in the bank.

“I wish to speak to the goblin in charge of my vaults.” Harry told the goblin, completely ignoring their behaviour. He was quite used to the goblins after dealing with them for so long.

“Name.” the goblin ordered.

“Hadrian James Potter.” Harry said his full name.

“Do you have proof?” the goblin asked while looking at Harry with obvious disbelief.

“No,” Harry started. “But an inheritance test would do.”

“Can you pay for it?” The goblin said while pointedly looking at his clothing. “It's ten galleons.”

“When I am proved to be who I am, you can take the money from one of my vaults.” Harry said while locking eyes with the goblin. They held the staring match for what seemed like minutes until the goblin finally conceded gruffly.

“If you're lying your head will roll.” The goblin told Harry in all seriousness.

“Of course.” Harry nodded.

The goblin left and returned with another goblin, then leaving once again to return to his duties. “I am Griphook,” the goblin said. “You say you are Hadrian James Potter?”

“Yes. If I could have an inheritance test, that would be the proof.”

“Uh-huh,” Griphook said doubtfully. “Well, follow me, then,” The goblin lead Harry into a room and to a dagger and black parchment paper. “Use the dagger to cut yourself and then put three drops of blood onto the paper.

Harry grabbed the dagger and carefully sliced his middle finger. Setting the dagger down, Harry then squeezed his middle finger so that three drops of blood fell onto the paper. Instantly, the paper exorbitant the blood and words started to appear on the paper. Glancing at it, Harry quickly covered everything but his name with his arms and body, startled at what appeared. _Just my luck that the test has no concept of time,_ Harry thought.

Griphook, at seeing Harry's odd behaviour looked over at the test.

_Hadrian James Potter-Pev—_

Still covering most of his name, Harry managed to keep the goblin from seeing all of it. “See? I'm what I told you I am.” He gave the goblin a nervous smile. The goblin was suspicious, but he also knew that a name couldn't be faked on the inheritance test, so he was content. For now, that is.

“Now, I would like to talk about my vaults and the people who have access to them.” Harry said with a smile with far too many teeth. He wanted to get straight down to business, hoping to avoid staying in the bank for too long. He found the place to not be mentally stimulating enough, and he knew he would end up terrorising the goblins sooner or later. He preferred later, when he had enough influence to weasel himself out of trouble.

*

Harry walked out of Gringotts with a spring in his step, skipping all the way to Ollivanders. Entering the shop, he didn't even flinch when Oliver appeared seemingly out of nowhere, already knowing he was there thanks to his magical signature. Their interaction went pretty similar to how it happened before, except this time Harry ended up with a nearly exact copy of Voldemort's wand if it weren't for the difference in length.

Harry was zooming in and out of stores, buying all his supplies for Hogwarts and a few… _questionable_ items along the way. He even took a trip to Knockturn Alley, under a glamour of course, to gather his darker supplies. He enjoyed spooking the store owner of Borgin and Burkes by hissing in parseltongue, especially when he got some _special_ products out of it.

It was when he entered Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions that he ran into Draco. He was standing there, waiting for Madam Malkin to come back with his measurements, looking as pompous as ever.

“Hello.” Harry greeted Draco with a nod, secretly eyeing his hair and wondering how much gel he used.

“Hello,” Draco greeted. “I am Draco Malfoy. Who might you be?” Draco inquired.

“Hadrian.” Harry replied, giving his full name rather than his nickname.

“Hadrian…” Draco trailed off, asking about his family name. It was obvious that Draco was looking for what his blood status was.

“James. Hadrian James.” Harry replied, wishing to keep his anonymity for as long as possible.

“Oh. You're a muggle-born.” Draco said in distaste, his mouth curling up in a sneer.

“Half-blood, actually,” Harry corrected, enjoying how Draco’s face changed. He still held distaste since Harry wasn't a pureblood, but he was also out of the know on how powerful his family was.

“Oh,” Draco said and back peddled to try and salvage the situation. “Of what Family?”

“One that you don't deserve to know. You are a pureblood, are you not? Yet you do not act like one. No composure and quick to judgement, I dearly hope that you are not the only heir to your family.” Harry said coldly, giving Draco a dressing down.

Draco flushed in embarrassment. “My father will hear about this!” He exclaimed.

“If he does not correct your behaviour, then I fear for the Malfoy family.” Harry said with his own sneer himself, one that actually cowed Draco.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some minor additions. 
> 
> _~Slytherin~_ is parseltongue.

# Chapter 5

 

1st of September, 1991

Harry stood at the train station and confidently walked through the wall that was between platform nine and ten. A long, black snake was wrapped around his neck and half buried in his clothes, it's tongue occasionally flicking out of it’s mouth. He had seen this treasure at the pet shop, and chose to get him instead of an owl. He named his snake Noir, feeling rather lazy when he named him.

Stepping out onto platform 9¾ . The train was there, but there was hardly anyone else on the platform as well. Harry was quite early, wanting to have the best choice for where he was going to sit. Entering the train, Harry went all the way to the back of the train and opened the last compartment door. At finding it empty, Harry gave a grateful sigh and shut the door behind him. Locking the door with a spell, Harry transfigured the seats into a bench and sprawled across it. Noir uncurled from his neck and rested on his chest, his heavy weight crushing if Harry were mortal. And like that, Harry drifted off to sleep.

_Bang bang bang!_

Harry was awoken to the sound of banging on the compartment door. Looking up, but not getting out of his lazy position, Harry peered over at the door, wondering who was at the door. Noir was upright in an S, staring at the door along with him. It was most likely a first year, as an older student would be able to use a simple _Alohomora_. _Or they could just be stupid,_ Harry thought snidely. Content with his deductions, Harry laid his head back and tried to ignore the person, hoping that they'd give up and go away.

“Hey! Open the bloody door!” A boy's voice yelled. It was a familiar voice. A very familiar voice. It was certainly Ron Weasley, in all his obnoxious glory, who stood on the other side of his door.

Oh, this is going to be fun, Harry thought with a wicked cackle. _~Come to me my sweet. Fear me,~_ Harry hissed in parseltongue.

 _~What are you doing?~_ Noir hissed back.

 _~You'll see,~_ Harry smiled mischievously. _~Now settle back down, they are no threat. Not yet, at least.~_

The pounding on the door abruptly stopped, and Harry could hear an audible gulp from Ron. “Join usss,” Harry hissed, his English tinted with parseltongue. “The dark welcomesss you to join our caussse.  We have plenty of candy to ssspare.” Harry cackled.

“It's You-Know-Who!” Ron screamed, his heavy footsteps hitting the floor as he ran away. “He's come to kill us all!” He shouted to the compartments in the train. Harry could hear various doors sliding open, as the whispers and murmurs of people saying how Ron had gone mad. Snickering in a hissy laugh along with Noir, Harry laid back down and went to go back to sleep. But luck was not on his side, and just when he was starting to doze, when two voices were heard outside his compartment.

“I swear! There was this hissing on the other side of the door,” Ron said wildly. “And then a person spoke, but they were hissing the words all creepily like!”

“Really?” Two voices said together.

“Are you—” One voice started, only to be continued on by the other voice until the two were finishing sentences back and forth.

“Sure—”

“About that—”

“Little brother?” They finished in unison.

The twins! Harry thought excitedly. The click of a lock was heard and his compartment door was slid open. Going completely still, Harry slowed his breathing and pretended to sleep.

“It's only—”

“Someone—”

“Sleeping.”

“But! There was the hissing! I know there was!” Ron exclaimed, trying to prove that he wasn't mad.

“Do you—”

“Mean—”

“The black—”

“Snake—

“That's laying—”

“On the—”

“Kid’s stomach?

Ron’s face became pink in embarrassment. “Then what about the hissy talking? You-Know-Who could just be under a glamour and posing as a little girl!” Ron tried to reason without any luck.

At Ron's comment, Harry shot up into a sitting position before the twins could talk. “I'm a boy you duffer!” Harry exclaimed incensed, his wand out. With a flick of his hand, Ron’s formerly red hair became slytherin green along with the words ‘I love Slytherin’ on his forehead. It was perfectly justified in Harry's mind. Sure, he was rather delicate looking and had long hair, but surely that doesn't warrant a mistaken gender?

“Ah, whoops.” Ron said, his face turning an unattractive red. He didn't even notice that his hair was no longer red.

“Good job—”

“Ronniekins.” The twins said while secretly laughing at their brother.

Embarrassed, Ron exited the compartment, rudely not even really addressing Harry.

“Sorry—”

“About—”

“Our brother.”

“Ickle Ronniekins—”

“Is a little—”

“What you would call—”

“ _Slow_.” The twins finished in mock whispers, their heads leaned forward and hands shielding their mouths as if they were telling a secret.

At that, Harry couldn't help but laugh. He talked some more with the twins, who had opted to stay and hangout in his compartment. Before he knew it, the train had stopped and they had arrived at Hogsmeade Station. Bidding goodbye to the twins, Harry followed the other kids and then the first years to Hogwarts. That whole time, Harry was pondering on which house he was going to go in. _To Slytherin or not to Slytherin, that is the question,_ Harry thought. He already knew he wouldn't willingly go to the lions if his life depended on it—which actually wasn't really much, considering who he was and all, but it was the expression that counted.

On the way to Hogwarts, Harry couldn't help but snort in amusement when one of the first years was smacked in the face by the giant squid and broke down into a snotty mess. He had a rather sadistic sense of humour after spending so much time with Death. Though he was never going to be dragged between Death and Chaos’ “friendly” competitions ever again. He still got shivered from remembering how he was like a chew toy being fought over by the two. Anything to get an advantage, they always said. Until Harry just snapped, that is. That was the day both of them lost and Harry was the victor.

Entering the Great Hall, the sorting proceeded to sing it's admittedly catchy toon. It was when names started to be called that Harry tried to wrack his brain of which house he wanted to be in. So lost in thought, he almost missed his name being called.

“Potter, Harry”

Whispers broke out in the hall, and Harry walked to the stool with light steps and an innocent look and the hat was placed on his head.

 _I cannot see into your mind,_ the sorting hat said in his head with a surprised voice. _Harry Potter. Who are you?_

 _None of your concern,_ Harry thought to the hat.

_Well, if I can't see into your mind, then you will have to choose your house._

_Wonderful,_ Harry thought and then told the hat what house he chose.


	6. Chapter 6

# Chapter 6

 

“Slytherin!”

 _What!?_ Harry thought to the hat while keeping an impassive mask on the outside. _I told you Hufflepuff!_ Feeling a hand reaching and starting to pull the hat off, Harry brought one hand and pushed it back down onto his head while his other hand swatted at the person's hand as if it were a fly. He wanted answers from the hat and he was going to get them. No one was going to intervene until then if Harry had anything to say about it.

 _True, I could not enter your mind to figure out what house you would best belong in,_ the hat started. _But I have seen enough Slytherin minds to know that your actions today gave me a very clear answer._

 _What do you mean?_ Harry mentally seethed in annoyance.

_The way you acted said that you knew that I couldn't enter your mind, and planned on it to have the freedom of choosing your house. That is a very Slytherin tactic, but you are years too young to get something past me._

_Says the hat that put me in Gryffindor when I was only eleven_ , Harry thought to himself and then projected his reply to the hat. _Years to young? You don't know the half of it._ And with that, Harry jumped off the stool and removed the hat from his head, not even giving the hat a chance to reply. Placing it on the stool, Harry Harry looked up and took in his surroundings.

Now that he wasn't occupied with the hat, Harry was greeted with the stone cold silence of the Great Hall. Everyone was shocked, though the Slytherins hid it better than the others. Harry could also feel the tell tale stinging prickle in his scar, alerting him of Voldemort's presence within the hall. _Ah! I remember now,_ Harry thought while turning his eyes to the teachers table. _Voldemort was hitchhiking with Quirrell. They're a Quirrelmort._ Snickering to himself, Harry's amused eyes met with intrigued, crimson eyes before they flickered back into a confused, pale blue.

Intrigued himself, Harry took one last glance at Quirrelmort before turning back to pay attention to the Slytherin table. The first years sat on the ends and each year progressed the further to the centre the table got. But for each year there was a sort of hierarchy. The closer to centre you were, the higher your status for each year. Harry could see Draco along with his acquaintances sitting at the end of the first years group, right next to the outermost second years. _Figures,_ Harry thought. _Daddy's money comes a long way, Draco. But not long enough for me._

Approaching the Slytherin table with a grace that put purebloods to shame, Harry sat down at the end of the table in silence. He did not care for the internal hierarchy and structure of the Slytherin house, so he didn't even bother to sit further to the centre. Harry actually spied quite a few Slytherins looking at him in the corner of their eyes, trying to judge him. Impatiently looking around, Harry realised no one was going to do anything any time soon. At that moment, Harry decided a little prompting was in order.

“Well?” He asked. “Are you going to continue on with the sorting or are you just going to stand there catching flies?” Harry raised a brow elegantly and gave them a pointed look.

“R-right.” Professor McGonagall shakily said. “Yes, let's continue on with the sorting!” She said loudly much more confidently. The sorting ceremony was resumed, but everyone was still very shaken up by what had just transpired. Many spirits were either crushed or rebelling with Harry's sorting. Many even thought foul play was at hand. That it was surely some sort of elaborate scheme by the dark.

Looking over at the Gryffindor table, Harry spied Ron Weasley in all his green glory. He had made the spell irreversible by magical means just specially for Ron. He would have to wait it out for the weak for it to fade. His face was red in anger and he was given a wide berth by the other Gryffindors. Deliberately making eye contact with Ron, Harry gave a smug smirk at him, in ensign the Weasley even further. He looking almost ready to blow his top. It was a actually wonder that he didn't.

When the sorting ceremony finished, the new first years followed their respective houses to be welcomed and integrated into their new house. Of course, it was always a little different with Slytherin.

Following the rest of the Slytherin students on their way to the dungeons, Harry lightly skipped all the way there. At arriving by a stone wall, one of the older students turned to the first years.

“I am the Slytherin prefect, and this is the entrance to your dorm. Remember this, because I won't tell you again. The password to it is ‘Pureblood’,” At the prefect’s words, the entrance opened once the password was uttered. Walking in, the rest of the students followed and the entrance closed behind them. “It will change every week,” the prefect continued. “If you forget it, be prepared to have something to give in return for the answer. Make sure to keep interhouse problems in our house. We already have a bad reputation, so we don't need you coming in and making it any worse. Especially when most of the school won't take our side. If you have any questions, take it up with your head of house, Professor Snape, myself, the Head Boy or Girl, or an older Slytherin student. Our head of house will be here shortly after a meeting with the other professors.”

“The meeting has already finished, ” The voice of one Severus Snape said behind everyone, surprising the first years, who were not yet used to Professor Snape sneaking up on them. “And I can take over from here.” Shape finished while giving intimidating glare #35 paired with sneer #19 to intimidate the first years and make sure they knew who was in charge.

The first years were all quickly cowed under the intimidating presence of Severus Snape.  Harry, on the other hand, just wondered if he was compensating for something.


	7. Chapter 7

# Chapter 7

 

“What happens in Slytherin stays in Slytherin,” Professor Snape stated. “And before you start thinking like an emotional Hufflepuff, the reason is purely for the sake of image,” his lip slightly curled up as he continued. “As you already know, Slytherin’s reputation has the entire school watching us for any weaknesses that they can latch onto and further scorn Salazar’s house. If there is a… _situation_ , then you will fix it without the rest of the school finding out. You will not like the consequences otherwise.” he turned to pointedly look at Harry, his eyes full of disdain. “That is all. Now go. You will be led to your assigned rooms.” With one last look at Harry, he turned and retreated out of Slytherin dorms.

Turning back to face the prefect, most of the first years gave him an expectant look, waiting to be assigned to their new dorms. With a sigh the prefect walked further into the Slytherin Dungeons before stopping by a long hall with doors. Reaching out his hand, he made a gesture with his hand towards the hallway, his face holding a scowl that showed how much he enjoyed his prefect duties.

“The dorm you will be staying in will have your name on the door,” the prefect said. “There is a number above it and after today your names will disappear.” Without further words, the prefect walked down the hall and stopped at one of the many doors. Reaching his hand out, the prefect opened the door and entered, disappearing inside the room.

The remaining Slytherin students walked through the the hallway, some knowing exactly what to do and others nervously looking at each door. The nervous ones were mostly the first year Slytherins, their hesitance shining through their yet to be perfected masks. They would either learn to hide their emotions fast or be eaten alive.

Harry, who was at the very front of the crowd, scanned the doors briefly as he passed them. Passing each door with no luck so far, a frown started to make its way on his face. He would rather not spend forever just to find his room. It was only when he reached the end of the hallway at the last door that he saw his name. Along with four others.

The other names on the door were Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, and Alexios Travers. _Oh joy, this certainly won't end up in disaster anytime soon,_ Harry thought with a scowl. Raising his hand, he made his name blur into something unreadable, hopefully delaying the inevitable. He scowled, knowing he would have to be extra sneaky to avoid his roommates. But Harry also couldn't help but smile in glee at the prospect of messing with his roommates. Harry was sure there would be no complaints once they realised Harry was whipping them up into shape to survive the snake pit. He would even dare to say they would owe him one. A dangerous thing when Harry was concerned, that was for sure.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Harry reached out and turned the doorknob. He wanted to get in there and have the first pick at which bed he would have. Entering, he found the room to be as disgustingly gloomy as the Commons Room. Scanning the reasonable sized room for five children, Harry made his way to the bed in the far corner and unshrink his trunk. Pushing it underneath the bed, Harry made quick work of warding and putting all sorts of safety measures on the bed before his roommates entered.

Looking over at the other beds, Harry decided a little… _redecorating_ was in order. He really couldn't give up a perfectly swell opportunity such as the one he had. Raising his hand, Harry transfigured the bed sheets into Gryffindor red and gold. He also made sure they were nice and scratchy, surely to irritate one's skin and keep them up at night. Satisfied with his work, Harry added one more touch—which consisted of turning the gloomy atmosphere into something horribly and sickly _pink_ —before turning back around.

With a happy sigh, Harry dove straight into his bed—not even changing his clothes—and shut the curtains tightly, locking them in place. Putting a silencing charm up while he was at it, Harry went back to resting like he did on the train, Noir slithering from his clothing and resting on his chest. He intended to get some well needed shut eye. Being immortal could be very taxing. Especially when one could push the normal limits of not sleeping only to fully feel the full brunt of the consequences later on.

When the door creaked open and Draco and Theodore entered, Harry held his breath—despite being under silencing charms—in anticipation to their reactions. And Harry was not disappointed. At seeing the ghastly sight before them, Theo was nearly sent into a panic attack if the hyperventilating was anything to go by. Though not even Harry could truly blame him for that. He was just glad he was safe from going blind behind his curtain wall. And Harry also gave a light laugh—laugh, not giggle (but it really was one)—when he heard Draco let out a girlish shriek.

Soon, Blaise and Alexios entered as well, being met with the stone still figures of Draco and Theo. They too were sent into shock, though they were a lot more reserved in their reactions. But Harry's impeccable hearing still caught the small hitch of breath from Alexios and the gasp from Blaise. At that point Harry was snickering loudly, allowing himself to do so since he was under the safety of silencing charms. _Bloody useful thing, those are,_ Harry thought, thinking about silencing charms.

Once Harry's roommates got out of their stupor, they worked to change the colour scheme of their room. Harry almost regretted not making the spells irreversible to anyone but him, but it was too late by then. It was at that point that Harry's roommates actually noticed the bed in the corner with the curtain around it. They didn't know who it was or if they were behind the horrifying prank, but they weren't going to do anything about it. _Yet_.  They were quite wary of their mysterious roommate at the moment. They could tell their last roommate was an extremely competent wizard, their Pureblood upbringing giving them an edge with identify magic and how powerful it may be. And the fact that the bed in the corner was heavily warded and practically oozed dark magic was telling enough for Harry's roommates. Keeping a wide berth from Harry's bed, they started to settle in. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really a humorous chapter, I'm afraid.

# Chapter 8

 

Harry woke early the next morning, artificial light shining through the windows in the room. Turning over with a groan, Harry stayed in his bed for a few moments, relishing in the feeling of being well rested—well, well rested in Harry's mind. To any other it would be an absolute nightmare to sleep as little as Harry does.

Sitting up, Harry tossed the covers of the bed off of him—earning an annoyed hiss from Noir—and admired the quality of Slytherin beds in comparison to the Gryffindor beds. They were a lot softer and silkier than the rather coarse material Harry has experienced at Gryffindor before. _Though then again,_ Harry thought. _Slytherin is the den of purebloods. Wouldn't want to hurt their baby soft skin, now would we?_

With an amused smile, Harry reached his hand out and opened the curtains only slightly. Poking his head out, Harry looked side to side around the room. The other four beds still had their curtains around them, signalling to Harry that his roommates were still asleep. It was quite understandable, considering it was early in the morning.

Deciding to give his roommates mercy, Harry did not devise any wicked plans for when they woke up. Though it didn't stop him from thinking about it. He really wanted to do something to Draco. Like dye his hair. Or maybe even shave it all off. Harry would really enjoy that. And maybe even do something to Blaise and Theo. He was sure he could find something that would get under their skin as well.

Shaking his head roughly, as if to shake off the temptation to mess with Draco, Harry swung his legs over the bed and stood up. Stretching, Harry looked down at himself and gave a scowl when he realised he was still wearing yesterday's clothing. They were all crumpled and the he wasn't even wearing his robes. Instead it was a pair of Dudley's old and too large hand-me-downs.

 _I need a shower,_ Harry thought, his body way ahead of his mind and walking on autopilot to the bathroom. Entering, Harry took a quick inspection of the bathroom and had to admit that Salazar Slytherin really knew how to make things look decent.

The walls were a white marble and there were two showers along with two sinks. The sinks were made of a white and silver marble, the faucets being silver as well. The two showers were of decent size, though nothing to be overly excited about. _He must have been obsessed with silver and green,_ Harry thought. _Overly obsessed,_ Harry added as he eyed the green shower curtains that were held up by silver rods.

Choosing the shower farthest from the door, Harry stripped down and discarded his clothes haphazardly around the floor and entered it. He didn't even bother to lock the door, doubting that his roommates would be up anytime soon. How wrong he was.

Humming a tune that he had long forgotten the name of, Harry shut the curtain and turned the water on, slightly jumping when he was hit with a cold spray. Hastily reaching out, Harry turned the right shower handle all the way to the right. The water soon turned a scalding hot, but Harry did not mind. Groaning in delight, Harry continued to hum and started to wash himself under the burning water. He was so relaxed that he didn't even hear the door of the bathroom open.

Cautious steps moved outside of the shower, walking towards where Harry was. Reaching a tan hand out, they quickly ripped the shower curtain open, causing Harry to jump and turn around. Green eyes met dark grey as Harry stared at the person who had so rudely opened the shower curtain.

“What,” Harry started. “What the bloody hell!?” Harry exclaimed. He knew that the one who stood before him was Alexios Travers, knowing already what his other roommates looked liked from before. “You don't just open a shower curtain when someone's clearly taking a shower!”

“My apologies,” Alexios said. “I was just… _curious_ as to who our mysterious roommate is. There was no harm done, I hope?” He gave a charming smile.

Did Tom have children in this dimension? Harry thought while giving Alexios a dubious look. Hesitantly, Harry assured him.

“No, it's…it's fine, I suppose.” Harry said, blinking owlishly.

“Well,” Alexios said. “I suppose I'll just leave you to your shower.” Giving one last charming smile, he closed the curtains, leaving Harry to resume his washing.

Still staring at where Alexios used to be, Harry took a moment before turning around and acting as if the encounter never happened. It wasn't very often he got so surprised, but he knew for certain that he had never met an Alexios Travers in any of the other dimensions of the Wizarding World.

Minutes later, Harry shut off the shower and dried himself via drying charm. He was way to lazy for doing it manually. Exiting the shower and noticing Alexios was gone, Harry cleaned his clothes with a spell and then transfigured them into robes. The robes were also much more, how should he say, pureblood-ish compared to the set he bought at Madam Malkin’s. It was all expensive fabric and soft to the skin. Harry certainly wasn't complaining.

Going over to the sink, Harry brushed his hair and cleaned his teeth. When he was finished, harry finally exited the bathroom, ready to escape his roommates—other than Alexios, that is—before they woke up. Harry didn't know why, but he just had a hunch that Alexios wouldn't tell the others. It was just a feeling, really, but Harry had learned long ago to trust his instincts.

Scanning the room, Harry saw every but Alexios still sleeping soundly in their beds. Walking past them and opening the door, Harry escaped to the common room, only to run into Alexios again. But this time it was quite literally. With an _oomph_ , Harry nearly crashed onto the floor if he hadn't gotten his balance just in time. Looking up, Harry was met with the amused face of Alexios. Giving a frown, Harry walked passed him, still annoyed about the incident in the bathroom. Leaving the common room, Harry missed the interested look Alexios shot at his back.


	9. Chapter 9

# Chapter 9

 

Walking down the halls, Harry couldn't help look at Hogwarts with fond eyes. It had been his like his home in his first life. The home away from the Dursleys. And even though he nearly died at least once every year—making him think someone had had it in for him—Harry still loved Hogwarts.

Reaching out his hand, Harry placed it on the wall ran his fingers against it as he walked. It was still early, so Harry had plenty of time to wander around aimlessly. He was even contemplating just skipping going to the Great Hall for breakfast and getting one of the house elves to fetch him something. So focused on his thoughts—he really needed to pay attention more—he didn't notice the person walking towards him until they called out to him.

“Hah-Harry!” Quirrell stuttered out his name. “Wah-what ah-are you dah-doing ah-out so er-early?” he inquired. Voldemort had taken control of Quirrell, as seen by the red eyes, but he was keeping up Quirrell's infamous stutter to avoid suspicion.

Whirling around and facing him, Harry replied. “Quirrelmort!” Harry exclaimed in excitement, earning a flicker of surprise from him. “Didn't ya know? The early bird gets the worm!” Harry said cheekily.

“Kah-Quirrelmort?” he stuttered out in confusion. “Wah-what do yah-you mah-mean by the-that?”

“No need to be so self conscious,” Harry replied. “It's alright if you have ol’ snake face plastered to the back of your head.”

“…How did you know?” Quirrell asked, the stutter gone and his red eyes narrowed at Harry.

“Ah, ah, ah!” Harry said while tapping his scar. “Secrets must be kept in my mind.”

“Unless I look into your mind.” he said in response to what Harry said.

“Threatening a minor, Quirrelmort?” Harry asked. “What a naughty boy you've been. It's understandable if in your old age you are ah…having trouble with your best friend and all if you know what I mean, but that's no reason to take it out on poor, innocents students.” Harry said and looked up at Quirrelmort with big, innocent eyes. Which were a total contrast to the wicked smirk that was plastered on his face.

“Brat.” Quirrell ground out, understanding perfectly well what he was really saying.

“…Hmm,” Harry considered while staring at Quirrell. “You'd think one as old as yourself could come up with better insults.” Harry said while thinking, _I know I certainly know some creative ones in my old age._ He was not afraid to admit he was old. He could just Lord it over the people who knew of his true age.

Quirrell gave him a frown. “And you need to respect your elders.”

“I don't have to if the elder is not so elderly.” Harry said, rather vaguely implying to his age.

“I don't know what you mean by that,” Quirrell admitted reluctantly. “But I can tell why you were put in Slytherin. Despite your obvious…mental afflictions.” Quirrell said in a distasteful voice, making a jab at Harry's sanity. Though, in the deepest parts of his mind, Harry did have to admit that he wasn't all there.

“You really remind me of Alexios now,” Harry said, the subject seemingly coming out of the blue. “Or I guess it would be Alexios really reminds me of you.” Harry amended, making a subtle jab at his age which Quirrell caught right away.

“Alexios…Travers?” Quirrell asked.

“Yes, that him,” Harry said while nodding his head. “You could be related, really. Though Alexios is much more insufferable, really. But I'll get my revenge.” Harry gave a smile.

“Hmm…” Quirrell hummed, his face set in a frown. “I'm sure…” He did not know why something bugged him about what Harry said. Or more accurately, what bugged him about Alexios Travers. There was just something itching under his skin that wanted to divert Harry's thoughts away from him.

“Come with me.” Quirrell said with no room for protests, already turning around and starting to walk.

“Come with you where?” Harry said in confusion. He wasn't quite sure what he was up to, but his interest was piqued. There was a chance he was being taken to his death, but it wouldn't be permanent, so he had nothing to really lose.

“I'll show you.” Quirrell said while leading Harry down the halls. They were silent for the rest of the way there, only stopping when they reached a dark, mahogany door. Reaching his hand out, Quirrell opened the door and made a “come in” gesture at Harry. Eying him suspiciously, Harry entered the door, Quirrell not far behind him.

“Is that what you're into?” Harry asked while putting on a horrified and frightened face. “You like little boys?” His eyes were wide and he was edging away from Quirrell.

“No, you brat!” Quirrell said, insulted at what Harry was implying about him.

“Well how was I s’pose to know?” Harry said. “Your appearance doesn't help you much either…” Harry added while giving Quirrell a once over, his brow raised and his eyes pointedly looking at him.

“So, why did you bring me here?” At that question, Quirrell paused, for he actually didn't know why. He just, wanted to do so and ended up bringing him to his room.

“You don't know.” Harry deadpan need at Quirrell. His silence at his statement was an answer enough for Harry.

“Well, I'm just going to go now.” Harry said while pointing to the door and turning. Walking to the door, Harry took one last look at Quirrell before leaving. Walking down the halls, Harry was contemplating what had just happened. It was rather confusing. He wondered why Quirrell did that.

Shaking his head of his thoughts, Harry decided that he might as well go to the Great Hall. Walking through the entrance, Harry saw that there were still few people up and about. There were a few teachers there and even fewer students. There were none at Gryffindor—figures—and a couple at Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. And there was one person at Slytherin. When he saw exactly _who_ it was, Harry felt a bolt of irritation go through. It was Alexios, in all his obnoxious glory, who was sitting there and shooting him his insufferable smiles.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't quite like how this turned out, but oh well.

# Chapter 10

 

With a tight lipped smile, Harry walked over to the Slytherin table and sat as far away from Alexios as he possible could. Plopping down, Harry tentatively started to pick at the food which appeared before him, his appetite suddenly gone and his mood much more sour. Harry had no idea what Alexios wanted, but he defined knew he was going to get on his nerves very often. Especially if their first introduction was anything to go by. _Curious about the mysterious roommate my arse!_ Harry thought while looking towards Alexios and giving a scowl. That only seemed to make things worse.

Giving another one of his smiles, Alexios started to scoot towards him until he was right beside him, totally ignoring personal space rules. Leaning away from him none too subtly, Harry looked at him, question and wariness clear in his eyes. “What?” Harry asked.

“Nothing.” He said with a shake of his head and smile. In response, Harry turned back to his food and quickly scarfed down what he could despite his absent appetite and stood up, fully intending to give him the slip. Walking away, Harry exited the Great Hall, but not before looking back and locking eyes with an amused Alexios. Breaking eye contact, Harry continued walking, considering hunting down the twins to make Alexios stop unnerving him with his smiles and stalking habits.

Casting a quick _Tempus_ , Harry realised that it was still way too early to go to class. Still too early to pass it off as the nervousness of a first year being late for class. Giving a heavy sigh, Harry drifted along the hallways of Hogwarts, looking very much like the ghosts which too roamed the halls. His gaze was unfocused and his body on autopilot. And somehow, during his wandering, he ended up before the dark, mahogany door that led to Quirrell's office.

Shrugging in a “to hell with it” gesture, Harry reached his hand out to open the door. Cursing in annoyance at finding it locked, Harry quickly remedied that with magic and opened the door, only to quickly duck and curse out darkly when he dodged a rather nasty curse coming his way. Standing straight once more, Harry glared at the image of Quirrell, sitting in his desk chair and reading the book. He hadn't even looked up to see who he was cursing at.

“You bloody bastard!” Harry exclaimed towards Quirrell with superficial anger. It more like a tease than anything else. The curse, while probably agonising and even deadly to anyone else, would either kill Harry, which was fine since it wouldn't last, or send him in pain, which was also fine since it wouldn’t be as painful to Harry as opposed to another magical. “Next time actually look at who you're cursing at! Especially since that was a very dark spell!” Harry did have to wonder a little about that. Surely he _couldn't_ have been in Slytherin to have such a blatant disregard of self preservation? If it was a teacher or someone like that then Quirrell would be taken into the ministry for using dark magic and Voldemort would never get his body.

“Despite the love potion involved,” Quirrell said, still reading his book. “My parents were married,” This time Quirrell looked up from the book. “And how would the Boy-Who-Lived know how to identify such a dark curse? Could he possibly be going…gasp!… _dark?_ ” Quirrell said mockingly with a smug smirk while looking back down at the book, missing the emotion which formed on Harry's face. Or the _lack_ of emotion on Harry's face, that is. Quirrel did not realise the line he was crossing at by calling Harry that.

“Never,” Harry said coldly, all childishness and playfulness gone from his countenance. “Call me that title again.” That title was what ruined him in his first life. He wouldn't be stuck with Death as his only constant companion for eternity. He probably wouldn't have even _touched_ any of the other hollows if not for his stupid title. Would get to truly die.

Abruptly, Harry made a sharp turn, storming out of Quirrell's office. Startled at Harry's coldness, Quirrel quickly placed the book on his desk and went after him. Exiting his office, he looked side to side, scanning the hall for any sight of Harry. But it was to no avail. Harry was nowhere to be seen. Turning back around and re-entering his office, Quirrel picked up the book he was reading and stared down at it. His face contorting in inexplicable anger, he rounded on the wall and threw it harshly at it.

“Damnit!” Quirrel yelled, having no idea why he felt so angry. He just felt angry at Harry for leaving and closing up on him. And he was even more angry at _letting_ him close up on him! _Him!_ The Dark Lord Voldemort himself! And what made him even more angry was that he wanted to make it so Harry _wasn't_ angry at him anymore. He didn't _want_ Harry to close up on him for some inexplicable reason.

Bracing his two hands on the desk, Quirrell looked down, his weight leaning on his arms. He wanted to crucio someone. Crucio someone until they were mad. Until they were madder than him, who could feel what only could be described as _guilt_ crawling up inside him at upsetting Harry. Calmly inhaling his breath and letting out a long exhale, Quirrel raised his head and looked back at the door Harry had stormed out of. Maybe he could fix it.

He wouldn't apologise. No, Dark Lords don't go and _apologise_. But, he could… _make it up to_ Harry. Yes, _make it up to_ him. The only problem was that he had no idea how to do that. He never had to… _make it up to_ someone before. Usually other people would be doing that to him. But never the other way around. If someone ever thought that he should _make it up to_ them then he would torture then kill them. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for pulling a French leave, but I was swamped in work (sometimes I procrastinate. Procrastinate hard) and didn't have much time to write without sacrificing needed sleep to work. 
> 
> For those awaiting new chapters on my other stories, the update times will be more spaced out and erratic but still continued.

# Chapter 11

 

Harry made his way to his first class, Potions, surrounded in a dark aura and an even darker mood. The fact that when he entered and quickly realised he had to spend the class with Gryffindor further plummeted his mood, leaving him snappy and short tempered. That was never a good combination in Potions class. Especially with such volatile classmates which hated his guts for being a slimy snake. Seriously, Harry could practically _feel_ the animosity hanging in the air. And Snape was just the sour cherry on top to the rotten sundae. Harry would be lucky to make it out of the class without either being targeted by Snape or the Gryffindors. And, knowing full well of his infamous luck, Harry knew that he _would_ be unlucky and be targeted by one of them, most likely both.

It was only moments later that Harry was singled out by Snape for not paying attention. But it wasn't really like Harry needed to pay attention anyways. He had far surpassed most magics and magical practices in his immortal life. And that didn't even include his gifts solely attributed to his special status with Death.

Looking up into Snape’s obsidian eyes, Harry ignored the glare and gave him an unimpressed look. To further add to that, Harry raised one eyebrow as if to say “is that all you've got?” It was definitely not surprising that Snape took that as an insult, and decided to give him a quiz. A quiz of seventh year material, that is. Though of course Harry got all the answers correct, thoroughly enjoying the sneer Snape gave him at not being able to humiliate him. He didn't even reward point even though Harry was in his own house. If Harry weren't thousands of years old, then he was sure that he would be offended at the amount of contempt Snape had for his father. But since he was, Harry couldn't help but feel amusement at how stuck in the past Snape was.

Once it seemed as if Snape would no longer bother him, Harry went off to cuckoo land. That was a very very dangerous thing, for Harry also seemed to get new and absurd ideas on how to terrorise mortals there. Magicals in particular, for Harry had a twisted fondness of them.

History of Magic was no better and left Harry considering on whether or not he should send Death after Binns to reap his soul just to get a new teacher. Harry had no wish to know about the Goblin Wars. And he most certainly had no desire to sit for an entire hour listening to Binns’ monotonous voice. It was only with a strong will that Harry suppressed a sigh in relief when the time became 12 o'clock, signalling lunch time was nearing. Sure, he had no intention of attending lunch, but anything to escape Binns lecture and Harry would take it. It was safe to say that Harry hightailed it out of the classroom very quickly.

He then promptly spent the entirety of lunch taking a catnap inside of an abandoned classroom. Binns had done what Death could not. He made the giant ball of energy called Harry calm down and rest. And Death never could replicate Binns methods, for Harry would just become annoyed and order him not to bore him. Death would never be free from the horrifying machinations of Harry.

Once it was time for classes again, Harry hopped off the desks he was laying on and headed to Transfiguration. That's where things got a little _interesting_. It's not like walking through the halls and seeing the architect was what caught Harry's interest, but the two boys in the hallway certainly did. They were a Slytherin and a Hufflepuff, maybe both around fifth year, and while that may be what would have made others turn heads, that was not what Harry found so intriguing. No, what Harry found so interesting was the fact that they were pressing against each other in the middle of the hall and having quite the impressive snog.

He couldn't tell who they exactly were, for their faces were quite obscured, but Harry really didn't care. He had some pent up anger from his encounter with Quirrelmort and they were just the perfect pair for him to take it out on. There was nothing like terrorising young, hormonal, mortals to cheer Harry up. And if that failed, well, he still had some decent blackmail material. Harry quite doubted that the twos reputation would be down the drain if word ever got out that they were snogging in the hallway for the world to see. They were probably buggering each other as well now that Harry thought of it.

Walking with purpose, Harry strode up to them silently before halting a little ways away from them. Putting his hands up to his eyes, making sure to leave grabs in his fingers and peek through, Harry let out a surprised speak. At the sound Harry made, the two jerked back from each other as if they were burned and turned towards Harry, their faces in a panic.

Harry barely suppressed a smirk.

“Wah-why were yah-you eating each other's faces?” Harry stuttered out while staring at them with wide eyes.

“Wah-we were…” the Hufflepuff tried to say, his cheeks turning red, only to abruptly turn and give a glare to the Slytherin. “Explain it to him, Lucian.” he hissed.

“What?” the Slytherin replied back in a whisper. “Why should I?”

“You can spin tales better than I.”

“Fine,” Lucian relented before turning to address Harry. “You see,” he started. “When you become older, you will start to get certain…urges to touch someone else. And when you do, sometimes you'll want to—”

“You're not giving a first year _the_ _talk_ ,” the Hufflepuff exclaimed with an affronted look, as if the very idea was blasphemous. “What he meant to say was that we are…we are very good _friends_ , and we are showing our…our _affection_ by placing our mouths on each other in an act called _kissing_.”

“Oh,” Harry said while nodding his head in understanding. “So you…you _kiss_ your best mate to show that they're your best mate?” Harry asked.

“Ah, um, well, nah-no…” the Hufflepuff stuttered out.

“Thank you for telling me!” Harry exclaimed while giving them a smile and ignoring the Hufflepuff’s stuttered out response. “But I really must be going now or I'll be late for class.” Harry told them while turning and skipping away, not even letting the two respond.

He loved messing with people's minds.


End file.
